


Never Been A Moment

by ashharris1124



Category: Women's Soccer RPF
Genre: F/F, Family
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-17
Updated: 2017-05-17
Packaged: 2018-10-20 06:28:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 6,553
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10656819
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ashharris1124/pseuds/ashharris1124
Summary: My name is Skylar Johnson.My life forever changed on March 25th, 2013, the day I turned 13.That's the day I became an orphan for the second time in my life.That's the day I killed my family.





	1. Skylar

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A few people expressed interest in this so I wrote a little introductory chapter to get things started. Please let me know if you liked it or whatever else and tell me if you'd like me to continue. 
> 
> Enjoy :)

Before I was even born, my parents didn't want me. By the time they found out how special I was it was too late for an abortion. They were stuck with me until I came into the world, screaming and flailing and red in the face. They didn't even hold me. The nurses cleaned me up in a separate room from them, and after I was checked by the doctor I was off to the nursery, where I stayed until people from the nearby orphanage came and got me. My parents didn't even cry when they took me away.

The day I turned two weeks old I was adopted by Madison and Rylie Johnson, a lesbian couple who had dreamed of being parents since they started dating at the age of 16. From that day on, I experienced the unconditional love that my birth parents couldn't give me. Madison and Rylie didn't care that I was different, didn't care that my body was unlike other girls' bodies. They saw me as what my birth parents couldn't: a daughter.

Growing up wasn't easy for me. Having gay parents was both a blessing and curse at the same time. On the one hand they accepted me for who I was, but on the other hand complete strangers who didn't know a single thing about my family judged us. There were more than a couple times when Rylie, the more assertive of the two, would end up cussing someone out for saying something hateful while Madison covered my ears. And there were more than a couple times that I had to keep myself from getting into fights with kids at school who couldn't keep their thoughts to themselves.

When I was 12 years old my baby sister Aveline was born on Christmas of 2012. She was the best present anyone could ask for. Her birth was even more special, since Madison had gone through four years of IVF treatment and two miscarriages to have her. When I held her in my arms for the first time I felt my heart swell in my chest. And when I saw the looks on Madison and Rylie's faces it swelled even more. My family was complete and I couldn't be more happy.

Never once was I ashamed of my family. They loved me unconditionally and I loved them back the exact same way. If I hadn't been so selfish they'd still be here today.

My name is Skylar Johnson.

My life forever changed on March 25th, 2013, the day I turned 13.

That's the day I became an orphan for the second time in my life.

That's the day I killed my family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Make sure to comment and let me know if I should continue.


	2. April 2013

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay just to clear things up, Skylar is NOT a psychopath. You'll find out what she meant by killing her family soon enough, I promise. 
> 
> Enjoy :)

I trembled as I opened the door to my therapist's office. Ms. Conner led me to an empty seat and went to check in for me. I looked around the waiting room, noticing how nobody looked at each other. They all stared out the window at the palm trees or at the tiled ceiling, only shifting their eyes to the carpeted floor and back. I started to wonder why people did that, never looked at others unless they had to. Never really took in their surroundings unless something important happened. Ignorance is bliss I guess.

Ms. Conner sat next to me in the open chair. She talked to me in a hushed voice, as if doing so would keep people from hearing her in the too quiet room.

"There's gonna be a bit of a wait. She had to do a few emergency sessions with some clients so she's a little off schedule. While we wait do you want to play a game or something?" she said.

I looked at her silently. Her blue eyes and slightly greying black hair shined in the glow of the fluorescent lights. I blinked and turned to look at my hands. "No, I'm okay." I mumbled.

"Alright." she said, shifting in her seat to get more comfortable. "How are you feeling today?"

I raised an eyebrow. "Isn't that for the therapist to ask?"

She cracked a smile, but when I didn't return one to her, it dropped from her face. She sighed. "Look, Skylar." she spoke softly, "I know this past month has been really rough for you. But we're gonna help you in every way that we can. And maybe one day soon, a nice family will take you in and things will get better for you."

A nice family. I sighed. The only family I wanted was my own. But I was selfish that one night and they were taken from me.

I took a deep breath and looked straight in front of me, meeting the eyes of a blonde woman sitting across from me. She was beautiful, and somehow handsome at the same time, with tattoos all over her left arm and right leg. She looked to be about thirty years old and she had the kindest hazel eyes I had ever seen. She gave me a soft smile.

I looked away. I didn't need kindness from a complete stranger right now. I wanted to be punished for what I did. And what better way to be punished than to be forced to relive your worst memory with your therapist.

The door by the reception counter opened and Rita, one of the two therapists who worked here appeared. I had met her briefly before and thought she was a nice women. Her sister Amy was my therapist.

"Ashlyn. Come on back." Rita said, smiling politely as she locked eyes with the woman sitting in front of me.

I watched her raise from her seat and grab a small notebook on the empty seat next to her, a journal I assumed. Before she started toward Rita, she gave me a glance and smiled again, showing off a dimple in her left cheek. She greeted Rita with a hand shake and then they disappeared behind the door.

It was when the door clicked shut that I realized I had returned the smile she gave me. That was the first time I had smiled since the accident.

*/\/\\*

I woke up shivering and drenched in sweat. I ripped the covers off of my body and swung my legs over the side of the bed, burying my head in my hands. I dug my palms into my eyes to erase the dream, well, memory actually, from my mind. My therapist had said the dreams would most likely subside with time but never fully go away. I hoped they would subside a little quicker, because it's been over a month and the dream is still as vivid as it was the first night I had it.

I pulled my wet shirt off and threw it in my hamper on my way to the door. I walked quietly down the hall, not wanting to wake any of the kids in the house, and entered the bathroom, not turning on the light until I shut the door. I leaned over the sink and turned the water on so I could splash my face. When my face was less flushed, I turned the knob until the water stopped and looked at my face in the mirror.

To say I barely recognized myself was the understatement of the century. My skin was pale, my eyes sunken and not as blue as they used to be. A perpetual frown was on my face. This wasn't me. This wasn't who I was a month ago.

Shaking my head, I reached for a towel to dry my face off. A few drops of water had fallen from my chin onto my stomach so I wiped those too. As I did, I noticed the pink scars and yellowing bruises all over my left side. My breathing hitched and I tore my gaze away. I covered my torso with the towel so I couldn't see it. And because I didn't want to see my face in the mirror either, I flicked the bathroom light off so I was standing in darkness.   
I could feel the emotion bubbling in my chest and rising up my throat. My therapist's words rang in my mind. "Don't hold the emotion in. It'll just eat you alive. Let it out in a safe way." That's what she had told me today at my appointment.

A safe way. I could do that. I backed up until I felt a wall and then slid down it, sitting down on the floor. I bunched up the towel in my hands and stuck a little bit of it in my mouth, biting down and sucking in air through my nose.

Then I screamed into the towel. I screamed until my throat hurt and my mouth was dry, until I felt like every emotion in me was gone.

*/\/\\*

"It's Park Day everyone!" Ms. Conner yelled out in an enthusiastic voice. All of the younger kids cheered, excited at the prospect of having a fun day at the park. I sighed. There was plenty to do at the park for a little kid, but not much for a thirteen year old. All I did was sit on an empty bench and stare off in space.

Park Day was just another word for Sunday at the orphanage. Ms. Conner liked to take all the kids out to the park to get some exercise and let off some steam. Personally, I also felt like she took them there hoping some couple will see all the kids and think about adopting one of them.

All of us filed out of the house and started walking toward the local park. It was starting to get a lot warmer during the day, sometimes getting up to eighty degrees. And since we lived in Florida, it was also humid. Very humid. I pulled my long brown hair into a ponytail to get it away from my back as I followed the group.

"Alright, kids," Ms. Conner said as we reached the jungle gym in the park, "Stay close and stick with your play buddy!"

All of the kids ran off toward the jungle gym while I walked down the sidewalk to find a bench somewhere calmer. About fifty feet from the jungle gym was a big field where people could lay a blanket out and have a picnic or play frisbee with someone. I found an empty bench and sat down, sighing quietly. I started to people watch.

Two guys were playing fetch with a golden retriever. A man and woman were having a picnic together. One woman was sitting on a blanket and drawing something on a big sketch pad. An old man was taking pictures of the sky.

It seemed like a lot of people were taking advantage of a nice Sunday afternoon to just relax and have fun. I thought for a few moments, trying to think of the last time I had fun. The longer I thought the harder it was to come up with something. Maybe this last month had been too horrible for me to even remember what it felt like when I was happy.

I sighed and looked around again, my eyes stopping on two women sitting on a blanket. One was blonde and the other was a brunette and they were holding hands. A baby was on its back in front of them, waving its little fists around. The brunette held out her finger and the baby latched onto it with its hand. The two women shared a smile and a quick kiss.

I don't know how long I watched them, but I was fascinated at how happy they were together. The longer I watched them, the more I thought I recognized the blonde. I knew I had seen her before. I bit my lip and continued to watch as the brunette lifted the baby off of the blanket carefully and cradled it in her arms. It looked like it had fallen asleep.

My throat suddenly swelled as an image filled my mind. I swallowed heavily and blinked fast to get it to disappear. But even though it was gone, the pain it brought me was still very much there. My heart squeezed uncomfortably in my chest and my eyes teared up. I dug my nails into my palms in hopes that it would take my mind off of my emotional pain so it would focus on the physical pain instead.

The blonde looked around the park, and when she saw me our eyes locked. It was Ashlyn, the woman from the therapist's office earlier that week. If she hadn't had pants and a long sleeved shirt on I would've known it was her quicker from her tattoos.

She looked at me carefully, like she was debating something. I watched her look at the brunette and say something. When the brunette's eyes flickered to me I knew she had said something about me. I was suddenly worried that Ashlyn wanted to come over to me. I wasn't sure I wanted her to. She looked like a kind person, but at the same time she was a stranger.

When Ashlyn glanced over at me again, I stood up from the bench and walked away, feeling the blonde's eyes burning into my back with every step I took.


	3. May 2013

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter might be the last one for a week or two. I'm taking an AP test soon and need to study hardcore for it since the college I'm going to is $60,000 a year and getting a good score could save me money and time. 
> 
> Please let me know what you think of the story so far. I love getting feedback. 
> 
> Enjoy :)

The dreams only seemed to be getting worse. I told my therapist this and she prescribed me a sleeping pill in the hopes that it would stop them. It didn't. If anything, the pills just made me stay asleep a little longer so I could suffer a little more. I ended up flushing over half a bottle of pills down the toilet because I didn't want to take them any more and I didn't trust myself to keep them.

I visited my therapist once every two weeks, always on a Tuesday. She had me keep a journal, which I wrote in every night, just a few sentences about my day and my emotions. When she first told me to journal, I was hesitant because I figured it wouldn't help me. After using it for about a month, I had to admit it did help a little.

It got easier to open up with every session. I talked about things with my therapist that I hadn't talked about with anyone before. She did a wonderful job creating a safe and secure environment where I didn't feel like I was being judged. At my first session, I barely said two words, but I soon started to talk about things. Hard things. Sometimes I'd leave a session and be so emotionally drained that I could barely keep my eyes open.

One of the hardest things about living in the orphanage was seeing kids get adopted. It may sound selfish, but every time a couple walked through the door and left with a kid that wasn't me, my chest squeezed in anger. I wanted to be the one that left the orphanage for good. The people working there were really nice and understanding, but there was only so much that they could do. Their love was limited. I wanted to be with people who loved me fully.

Exactly two months after arriving at the orphanage, I ended up seeing Ashlyn again at our therapist's office again. She walked in hand in hand with the brunette I saw her with at the park. Beside me, Ms. Conner was busy filling out a calendar on her phone, but other than her, no one else was in the waiting room. The brunette picked a seat straight across from me. She smiled at me, and I tried to smile back.

Ashlyn sat next to the brunette after signing in. As she got comfortable in her seat, she noticed me. A smile broke out on her face.

"They say good things come in threes." she said, the softness of her voice catching me by surprise. "If I've counted correctly, this is our third time seeing each other, so I think it would be nice to be introduced to you. I'm Ashlyn."

"I'm Skylar." I mumbled out.

Ms. Conner leaned across the aisle with her hand outstretched toward Ashlyn. "Hello. I'm Betty Conner, Skylar's counselor."

They shook hands. Ashlyn gestured to the brunette. "This is my wife Ali."

Ali smiled widely and shook Ms. Conner's hand. "It's nice to meet you."

I fiddled with my hands in my lap. I didn't know what to say.

Ashlyn crossed her legs and entwined her hand with Ali's. "If you don't mind me asking, what kind of counselor are you for Sky?"

I tensed up at the nickname. I hadn't been called that since that night.

"I'm a trauma counselor for an orphanage around here. I look after children who come from hard situations." Ms. Conner said.

I kept my eyes downcast, but I could feel Ashlyn and Ali's eyes on me. I could feel the questions swirling around in their heads like they were being thrown right at my face. That moment made me realize just how much I wished I could travel back in time to fix everything. I wished I hadn't been so selfish. I wished I had my family back.

I could hear a smile in Ashlyn's voice when she spoke again. "It's wonderful what you do, Betty. Really respectable."

"I love what I do." Ms. Conner said. She settled her hand over mine and patted it a few times. "Helping kids like Skylar here makes my days totally worth it." I could feel her eyes on me, and I knew she wanted me to look up, but I kept my eyes down still. I didn't feel like talking, and the lump in my throat kept me from saying anything anyway.

Just then, Amy came out and called for me, saving me from the conversation. I never went to Amy's office faster than I did that day.

By the time my session was over, Ashlyn and Ali were gone.

*/\/\\*

Later that night Ms. Conner came to talk to me before I went to sleep.

"Skylar, you need to be a little more approachable when you meet couples in public. Especially when they know you need a family." she said quietly, pushing my hair behind my ears.

I stared at her curiously for a few moments. How could this woman understand what I was going through? How could she tell me to look happy when I clearly wasn't just to get a couple to adopt me? How did this woman work with kids from hard situations and not understand that being happy is hard?

I bit back the sarcastic comment that I wanted to throw in her face, instead opting to simply nod. "Okay, Ms. Conner. Goodnight."

After she turned out the light and closed the door, I sighed quietly and rolled onto my side. Pressing my face into my pillow, I cried myself to sleep.


	4. June 2013

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was able to write a chapter today since I got some kind of stomach bug and stayed home. 
> 
> Enjoy :)

June 7th was the day I saw Ashlyn for the fourth time.

That day when I woke up, I felt something that I hadn't felt in almost three months: hope. Hope that I would leave the orphanage, which was getting worse by the day. Hope that someone, anyone would adopt me and take from my own personal hell.

My mind was my main problem that day. The hope I felt when I woke up was quickly taken away by my constant negative thoughts.

_I'm not good enough to be adopted._

_I'm damaged, and no one likes a damaged kid._

_Who really has the time to deal with a teenager like me?_

_No body will ever care about me when I tell them what happened._

_No one will willingly adopt a teenage girl who has a dick._

By the time I saw Ashlyn I was a mess inside. I was barely keeping the tears at bay. My chest felt like it would crack open at any moment. It was hard to breath. I needed to leave.

Throwing the covers off of my body I headed for my bedroom door. With a quick yank it swung open and I started to run down the hallway, head down and eyes watering. Not five steps from my door, I slammed into a rock hard chest. The person let out a surprised groan and I looked up to apologize, but no words came out when I saw those compassionate hazel eyes staring into mine.

I stumbled back a few steps to put some space between myself and the blonde covered in tattoos. She simply smiled at me as I stood there silently, really assessing her for the first time. I took in her seemingly flawless facial features, beautiful pieced together tattoos, and her piercing hazel eyes. The longer I stared, the more I noticed something significant.

She looked... like she cared about me.

Clearing my throat, I looked down at the ground. "Sorry for bumping into you." I peeked at her shyly through my eyelashes.

She smiled, showing a dimple in her left cheek. "It's okay. I actually came here to see you." she said.

I looked at her in surprise. "What?"

She nodded. "Yeah, I came here to see you. Is there somewhere we can go to talk privately?"

My mouth gaped like a fish's for a few moments before I could answer. Why would she want to talk to me?

"Um, yeah, but..."

"Okay." she smiled. "Lead the way."

I was so confused, but I still walked us to the backyard of the orphanage. We sat together on a swing, away from all of the little kids running around enjoying the warm summer air. A silence fell over us and I didn't want to be the one to break it. Thankfully, Ashlyn did.

"How long have you been here?" she asked softly.

I played with a stray string on the bottom of my shirt. "Two and a half months."

Ashlyn leaned back on the swing and started to make us move. I could tell she was thinking about how she wanted to say something, so I didn't say anything. After another minute of silence she spoke again.

"Skylar, do you want a family?"

My lips pressed into a thin line. Ashlyn saw and quickly hurried to apologize.

"Sorry, that's not the best way to ask what I want to know. I guess what I'm trying to say is, how would you feel about becoming a part of my family?"

I met her eyes cautiously. "I don't even know you."

"True. But we can get to know each other."

"You have a baby. You probably don't even have time to sleep, let alone adopt and take care of a teenager." I pointed out.

Ashlyn was quiet for a moment. "Why are you making this harder on yourself?"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

She slowed down the swing until we were stopped. "Sky, listen-"

I clenched my jaw and looked at her. "Don't call me that. My name is Skylar." Two people were allowed to call me Sky, but they were gone now. I didn't want anyone to call me Sky anymore.

She looked down and I immediately felt bad for making her feel bad.

"Sorry." I whispered, relaxing again. "Just please don't call me that."

Ashlyn nodded and cautiously reached for my hand. After a split second hesitation I allowed her to grab it. Her thumb ran across my knuckles soothingly and my eyes burned with unshed tears from that gentle gesture. I could feel my chest starting to crack.

"I'm sorry."

It cracked some more.

"It doesn't matter to me that we don't know each other. I care about you, and so does Ali." She stared into my eyes. "We care about you."

It cracked a little more.

"If you would let us, we'd be honored to adopt you. We just want to help."

I was just barely hanging on now.

Ashlyn pushed a stray piece of hair behind my ear. "Skylar, will you please be my daughter?"

That was it. I was done for.

A sob raked my body as big tears started rolling down my cheeks. Ashlyn had just put all of my insecurities to rest. Everything that I felt would get in the way of me being adopted was pushed to the side by this woman. She didn't care that I was damaged. Her and Ali wanted to help me, and god dammit I was going to let them.

Ashlyn put her arm around my shoulders and brought me to her chest. "Don't cry, honey." she whispered, stroking my hair. "It's alright. I've got you."

My mind reached out and brought back a memory. It was of Rylie and I in the same position, the day my volleyball team lost in the final for regionals.

_"It's alright. Mama's got you."_ she had whispered.

My eyes fluttered open. Ashlyn didn't have that title yet, but all that mattered was she was there for me.

"Yes." I whispered into her shirt. "I'll be your daughter."


	5. June 2013 part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Sorry if this isn't that good. I finally had time to write since I did my AP exam and don't have to worry about studying anymore, and I really wanted to get a chapter out for you guys. I'm gonna try and update this story once a week. 
> 
> Enjoy :)

June 7th marked the day I moved in with Ashlyn, Ali, and their six month old daughter Olivia.

The first thing I noticed when I walked into the house was the baby toys strewn all over the place. Ali, who was carrying a peacefully asleep Olivia, apologized for the mess.

"Sorry for this. Ever since we had her this house hasn't been fully clean." she smiled, kicking aside a baby rattle.

"I'm used to it." I mumbled as I followed her from room to room. After my sister was born there wasn't a day that went by that the house looked good.

After getting to see the first floor we headed upstairs. Ashlyn had taken my bags up to my new room and was getting things set up for me still, so Ali walked me to Olivia's nursery. It had a nautical theme that seemed fitting since the house was on the beach. Ali smiled when she looked at Olivia's crib.

"Ashlyn loves sharks, so obviously she had to get Liv a stuffed shark to sleep with." the brunette said, smiling as she lifted up a little stuffed great white shark to show me.

Just then Olivia started fusing in Ali's arms, whining and squirming as she slept. She was having a nightmare most likely.

I know how you feel, kid. I thought to myself.

Ali soothed her as best she could, running her thumb over the baby's forehead lightly and rocking her. She got her settled just as Ashlyn walked into the room.

"Your room is all set." she said with a smile, rubbing my back softly. She held out her arms to Ali. "Let me take the little munchkin."

Once Olivia was securely in Ashlyn's arms we headed over to my room. I was surprised by how spacious it was. A full size bed sat pushed into the corner diagonal from the door, with a matching night stand beside it. A sturdy dresser was on the wall across from the foot of the bed with a flat screen tv on it, and the closet door was beside that. The bathroom door was on the same wall as the night stand, and a desk was situated near it. The light blue walls went well with the cream colored carpet and white trim. I was in love with it, especially after having the small room at the orphanage.

"Wow." I whispered, feeling my chest tighten up with emotion. I hadn't even been in the house for fifteen minutes yet and it already was starting to feel like home.

"Well, um." Ashlyn said, looking around the room and then to Ali, who gave her a small smile. "We'll leave you to get situated, and when you're ready just come downstairs and we can talk."

I nodded. The lump in my throat made it impossible to speak. I watched as they closed the door, only letting the tears fall when the handle clicked into place. Slowly, I made my way over to my bed and sat down.

"It's gonna be okay." I whispered to myself. Tilting my head up to the ceiling, tears rolled down to my temples. "Thank you Mommy. Thank you Mama."

//

Ashlyn and Ali were sitting in the living room when I walked downstairs ten minutes later. They looked deep in conversation so I hesitated for a moment, not wanting to interrupt. When Ali finally glanced my way she smiled and beckoned me over. "Come over here, sweetie."

I made my way to the couch and sat down between the two of them. Ali grabbed my hand and started rubbing my knuckles.

"So, Ashlyn and I were just talking about school." she said, looking at me carefully. "The people at the orphanage said you didn't pass eighth grade."

I looked down at my feet. "I didn't."

Ashlyn put her hand on my shoulder. "Hey, don't be ashamed. It's understandable. We just wanted to know what you want to do about school now."

I raised an eyebrow at her. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, do you want to redo eighth grade at the new school you'll be going to here, or do you want to study over the summer and test to see if you'll get into ninth?"

Just the thought of redoing eighth grade made me sick. Middle school was terrible, and if I tested to go to ninth grade and passed that would mean I could go to high school. My answer came quick.

"I'll study over the summer."

Ali nodded. "Okay. We'll contact the school and get everything ironed out." She ran her hand over my hair. "Don't you worry about a thing, Skylar. You're safe here." She glanced at Ashlyn and entwined their hands together. "We promise."

//

My eyes popped open as a scream bubbled up in my chest. Just as it reached my mouth I clamped my jaw together and made myself stay silent. I blinked up at my dark ceiling, sweating profusely and trying to get the white spots out of my vision from where the headlights had blinded me in my dream. My eyes watered, and tears rolled down to my temples.

Ashlyn and Ali may have promised me I was safe in their house, but I still wasn't safe in my dreams.

I didn't fall back asleep that night.


	6. June 2013 part 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so for this fic, let's pretend the Orlando Pride was one of the original teams when the NWSL started. I hope everyone likes this chapter. After this chapter things will start getting better for Skylar, and soon you'll find out what happened to put her in her situation. 
> 
> Enjoy :)

When I finally decided it was an acceptable time to get up, I made my way downstairs and to the kitchen. Ali was at the stove making scrambled eggs and bacon while Ashlyn sat in front of Olivia, who was sitting in her high chair and happily enjoying being fed whatever flavor baby food Ashlyn had in her hand. Ali looked up at the sound of my footsteps and smiled brightly at me.

"Good morning, sweetie. Breakfast will be ready in a minute. Did you sleep well?" She flipped some bacon and then scraped eggs onto three plates.

I licked my lips nervously. "Yeah." I lied, feeling bad for doing it. They didn't deserve to be lied to, but I selfishly didn't want them to know how I was really doing. If they did that would mean having to talk and relive the moment I wished more than anything I could undo.

Olivia cooed in her high chair and reached out toward me. Her chocolate brown eyes were an exact replica of Ali's. And if I was honest, all of her was a replica of Ali. It was easy to tell the brunette had been the one to give birth to her. Ashlyn waved a spoonful of food in her line of sight and got her attention. After the little girl had taken the food off of the spoon, she looked at Ashlyn with such adoration that it was made very obvious the two of them had an amazing connection.

Ali placed plates at the table and guided me to sit next to her. As I chewed on a strip of bacon Ali spoke.

"So, last night I talked to my mom. She wants to have a cookout at her house and invite all of our family over, that way everyone can meet you. How does that sound?" she asked.

I pushed my eggs around my plate as I thought. The idea of meeting a lot of people all at once made me nervous, but I would have to meet them sooner or later.

"How many people will be there?" I asked.

Ali looked as Ashlyn. "Well, let's see. My dad is coming from Virginia with Vicki and the boys so there's four, and mom and her husband makes six, plus Kyle is seven from my family. Ashlyn, who's coming from yours?"

Ashlyn counted off with her fingers as she spoke. "Mom, dad, Chris, Gram, Corey and his girlfriend, and Jenson. So, seven from me which mean fourteen all together."

Ali patted my hand that had started to fidget. "Don't worry Skylar. They'll all love you."

I smiled a little and nodded, hoping she was right.

//

Three days later we were at Ali's mom's house, sitting on the patio with our plates piled high. I was sandwiched between Kyle and Corey's girlfriend who had Jenson on her lap. I had taken an immediate liking to Kyle, his flamboyant personality making it easy to feel comfortable around him. Plus, when he first say me, the first thing that came out of his mouth was "Damn, my sisters did good picking you. Welcome to the family. I love you already."

Everyone seemed amazing, and after awhile my nerves of being around a bunch of strangers dissipated as I got to know them. I was most nervous to meet Ashlyn's Gram. It was obvious that she and the older woman had an incredible bond. If she didn't like me I don't know what I would've done. But as soon as she saw me she pulled me into a big hug and whispered "Welcome home, sweetheart." into my ear. I almost cried.

After we all ate, Ken suggested a game of soccer. Ali whined.

"That's not fair, daddy. You know I haven't started playing again since having Olivia."

Ashlyn came up behind her and rubbed her shoulders. "Don't worry, baby. I'll play hard enough for the both of us." she said, smiling down at her wife.

Ali sighed. "Alright. But you better not get hurt. You have a game next week."

"I'm always safe, dear." she said, then kissed Ali's forehead and walked out onto the grass to join Ken and everyone else who was playing.

I turned to Ali. "Does she play in a club or something?" I asked, referring to how Ali said Ashlyn had a game soon.

Ali looked surprised by my question. "We both play for the Orlando Pride."

I raised an eyebrow. "The pro women's team?"

Ali nodded. "Yep. I figured you knew."

"I don't keep up with soccer." I said, almost apologetically.

Ali smiled. "Well, we'll see how big of a fan we can make of you. We also play for the national team."

"So, you're like, famous."

With a shrug, Ali nodded. "Yeah. You can say that."

I stayed silent for awhile then. I had two famous parents now. That thought would take me some time getting used to.

I was about to ask Ali a question when suddenly something hit me hard in the crotch. The wind was knocked out of me as pain flared up there, and I crumpled to the floor, a sound between a grunt and a groan leaving my mouth. I put my hand over myself, wanting to be shielded from anymore possible attacks to my genitalia.

Ali knelt down beside me and rubbed my back. "Skylar, what's wrong? Where are you hurt?"   
I tried to open my mouth to speak, but all that came out was a groan. My eyes searched the ground around me and I found the culprit of my pain. The soccer ball.

Ali was running her hand down my cheek. "Baby, you're turning blue. Breathe. There you go."

I slowly took air in through my nose and blew it out my mouth, a little shaky at first. As I laid on the ground breathing deeply, I finally noticed how everyone was gathered around me, waiting to see if I was alright. Vicki's son Cody looked guilty, and I figured the soccer ball had come off of his foot and right to my crotch.

When the pain was reduced to a dull throb, I sat up with Ali's help. Ashlyn reached her hands out and I let her pull me up, resting against her side as we walked into Deb's house. I heard Ali behind us, telling a little white lie. She said I had recently had surgery to remove a lump in my abdomen, and everything was still sensitive. I think she had a clue as to why I had reacted the way I did, and didn't want our family to be saying anything if they thought the way she did.

Ashlyn walked me into a spare bedroom and we sat down on the bed. Ali joined us a few seconds later.

"What happened out there, Skylar?" Ali asked softly, reaching to hold my hand.

I looked at the ground, suddenly embarrassed. I never had to tell anyone about myself before, so I was dreading this.

Ashlyn rubbed my back soothingly. "You can tell us."

The first time I said my answer it was mumbled so badly that even I couldn't understand myself.

"Say that one more time, please." Ali said patiently.

I took a deep breath. "I have a penis." I said quietly, staring a hole through the floor.

The first few seconds after I confessed were agony. I didn't know how Ashlyn and Ali would react, and it made me nervous and scared. But when I saw the compassion in their eyes I knew everything would be okay.

"Honey, we don't care that you have a penis, so relax okay?" Ashlyn said, and my shoulders dropped from their tense position. "Your anatomy has no relevance as to why we want you in our family."

I sighed. "My birth parents gave me away because of it."

Ali looked mad at my words. "Well, it's their lose. If they couldn't look beyond your physical features and see the wonderful, beautiful person you are, then they don't deserve you. People like them make me sick."

A single tear rolled down my cheek. "I was worried no one would want to adopt me because of how I am." I admitted.

Ashlyn wiped her thumb across my cheek and wisked away my tear. "With us you don't have to worry about anything, okay? You can be yourself. We love you no matter what."

I looked up quickly at her last sentence. My gaze fell on both of their faces. "You love me." I had meant for it to be a question, but it came out as more of a statement.

They both smiled. "Yes, sweetheart. We love you so much." Ali whispered, tears forming in her eyes.

My throat swelled up and I burst into tears. They both wrapped me up in their arms and held me as I cried. For the first time since March, I felt okay. For the first time since March, I felt loved.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments are always appreciated.


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